ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS

• "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
• "Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
• "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep"
• "Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"
• "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
• "It's WORSE than you think, and they ARE out to get you."
• "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
• "I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
• "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
• "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
• "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
• "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
• "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
• "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
• "We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
• "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
• "He who laughs last thinks slowest"
• "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
• "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
• "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
• "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
• "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
• "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
• "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home." "
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
• "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
• "Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."
• "Bad Cop! No donut!"