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Paxie, a prominent peace activist and official mascot of the Pax club, is in critical condition after mysteriously disappearing for several days following last semester's Take Back the Night Rally.
Pax representatives cite her tireless spirit and positive outlook as inspiration for the entire campus. Paxie vanished after the Take Back the Night Rally on Dec. 7. Some eyewitnesses claimed seeing Paxie streaking across campus, others thought they saw her in a dumpster. She was eventually found by Physical Plant workers and placed in temporary storage in the Physical Plant Building. Apparently negligence and prolonged exposure to the harsh winter weather took a serious toll on Paxie's health, whose medical prognosis is not promising. Senior Tim Godshall, longtime friend and colleague of Paxie, hopes for the best, but is prepared for the worst. "We all hope she makes it through this, but it looks like the rally may have been her swan song. We can only hope that if she leaves us, she will go to a better place," he said. Senior Tim Ken-nel, found-er and pre-sident of Students Against Pax (SAP), accuses Pax of a long tradition of ab-using and neglecting Paxie. He cites an incident that occurred during last year's Peace Conference, when he found Paxie abandoned late at night at the corner of College Avenue and Ninth Street amidst adverse weather conditions. Shocked at Pax's negligence and worried about her health, Kennel rescued Paxie from the street and took her to his own room, where she stayed for "a period of time." Kennel admitted to making "a couple of modifications" to Paxie when she was under his care, but would not elaborate further. When asked about his feelings regarding Paxie's possible demise, Kennel said, "Good riddance. Pax boldly claims that she will be going to a better place, but chicken wire and paper-mâche burn long and hot in the place where she's going." Although high on the list of possible perpetrators of this malfeasance, Kennel claims an alibi on the night she disappeared. "I was in my home eating borscht and watching a Radicals mara-thon on PBS," he said. Pax leaders refused to comment when asked if they suspected Kennel or SAP in the abduction. |