Eyes Wide Open to the Colors of Peru

Mariah shares a journal essay:

I have never really seen the world in color. I have never wanted to distinguish between black people, brown people, white people. I view people as equals. Race, class and culture don’t affect the way I see people.

Or so I thought.

I have never had to confront my own prejudices to the extent that I have had to while on SST because I have never been a minority person. I have never been so acutely aware of the color of my skin, eyes and hair because I didn’t have to until now.  Because everyone else has always looked like me, or at least the majority has.

blog A IMG_1511
Mariah with her host mother, Marisel.

But here I get double-takes and stares. My host Mom said that she thinks that my hair looks green because it is a color she is not used to seeing.

I met a really nice little girl who is a cousin of Adriano, my host brother, and about his age. One of the first things she said to me was that the color of my skin was beautiful. I told her that her skin was equally beautiful. Because it is. Different, but still beautiful.

I think that this time in Peru has made my cultural biases painfully clear. While I thought that I was unbiased, I still held on to the idea that people from other cultures are not as modern, and, therefore, their culture wasn’t as good as mine. I did not mean to have this bias; obviously, I am not intentionally trying to be a racist. But that’s the thing; racism is subtle.

I grew up in a school that was 51 percent Hispanic. But I called all of the Hispanic students “Mexicans.” My thinking was that if you have brown skin, then you must be from Mexico.

The children from “Mexico” had a harder time in classes, especially in elementary school, because of the language barrier. I used to think that “Mexicans” were not as smart as “real Americans.”

This sounds terrible, and it is honestly hard to admit, but it has shaped the way I think. A lot of people from my hometown had negative feelings toward the growing Hispanic population and would express their disapproval by saying that the “illegals” were stealing all of the jobs. Racism was prevalent as I was growing up.

In high school I was part of a teen mentoring program that partnered teens with kids who were underprivileged or that could just use someone to be there for them.

I was partnered with a little girl from Mexico. This further fueled the subtle racist fire. I thought that people from Latin America needed our help. This may be why I came on SST thinking that I would help out people in a country that is still developing.

I knew that most mission or service trips actually help those going grow a lot more than those receiving the “help.” But I still clung to this prejudice. And boy was I wrong.

I am at the absolute mercy of so many wonderfully patient and generous people. I am a bull in the cultural china shop, trying not to break cultural barriers and go against cultural norms.

Mariah and fellow students, Shina and Bryan, learn to play the cajón with Camilo Ballumbrosio.
Mariah and fellow students, Shina and Bryan, learn to play the cajón with Camilo Ballumbrosio.

The color of my skin and my cultural background are not more “civilized” or “modern” than what I find in this culture. Those ideas are constructs that we have created. Our cultures our simply different, and that is OK. As Adam K. Webb said in his book A Path of Our Own: “We need to redefine modern.”

One culture does not do life better or worse. Just different.

There is so much beauty in the difference. So much that can be learned. I am just trying to peel off the layers of accidental racism and wash off the preconceived notions.

Now I acknowledge that I see every color that paints this world. So beautiful and so different. What a wonderful gift.