By Mary Purves Liechty '75
Our daughter was going on SST. We were thrilled for her. Because
of our experiences with SST in the long ago 70s, Ed and I had
decided to insist that each of our children spend time in other
cultures. Addie had not yet had her chance to explore a developing
country. SST would provide that opportunity.
Addie is our youngest child. Hardly a retiring wallflower, she
had always floated among different cultural groups in her city
high school of 3,500 students. She had a strong sense of justice,
and even in primary school we found her speaking to the principal
about issues of racism and fairness. She disliked studying Spanish
then, but seemed to enjoy it in college. I had few concerns about
her ability to get along in her chosen SST country of the Dominican
Republic, though admit to worrying about her limited language
skills. Still, we were excited that she would become more proficient
in Spanish. I knew the faculty for this year's SST experience,
Jim and Lisa Caskey, and I was remarkably comfortable knowing
they were there to lead. I had no concerns about her ability to
handle people and admit that a part of me hoped she would be challenged
to face some difficult people situations. I was hoping for the
following growth experiences for her:
| 1 |
Increased confidence in her ability to handle
less than perfect situations. |
| 2 |
A strong sense of self reliance. |
| 3 |
Confidence in using a second language. |
| 4 |
An increased sensitivity towards "the rest of the world"
which has less income. |
| 5 |
A confrontation with "western ways" to make her think. |
| 6 |
A greater recognition of our common God. |
| 7 |
A broader world view in general. |
| 8 |
And a personal sense of how she might live out her faith/belief
system. |
Some parents may have expressed concerns about the
safety of their child. Oddly, I found myself more comfortable
knowing that my daughter was in the DR than in the states. How
does one define which places in the world are considered "safe"
or "unsafe"? The DR seemed safer than the U.S. to me. As we currently
live in Kenya, we feel very safe even though our state department
seems to feel otherwise. Safety has become an issue for prayer
to us. The place is irrelevant. Our daughter was not with us and
we had already placed her in God's hands.
During her SST stay, Addie wrote email letters to groups of people,
outlining her experiences and giving us some insight into her
living situation and the relationships she was forming; those
were lighthearted and fun. She also wrote personally to us, and
it was in those letters that we learned the frustrations and the
disappointments of her day to day living. It was important for
us to be supportive, to acknowledge the feelings she expressed,
and to also encourage her to keep on keeping on. Addie needed
simply to state those struggles for herself, acknowledge them
"out loud," and get them off her chest. As parents, we could absorb
that and offer support.
Her experience with the SST group in the capital city went very
well. She was using her language skills, enjoying her family,
meeting new people and learning about the culture, all the while
knowing that friends and the Caskeys were close by. Homesickness
never seemed to enter into things. There were difficult moments,
but I got the impression that those weeks were spent embracing
everything new. Her SST group supported each other well.
Her service assignment was a different experience: a challenge.
She dealt with an educational system that used negative reinforcement
and lived among adults who had restrictive views about activities
appropriate for a 20 year old young woman. She had to find an
alternative way of relating to the children she was teaching without
offending the culture of which she was a guest. She also had to
rely on herself for companionship much of the time - something
difficult for such a social being.
She did it. I am sure that the first weeks in Santa Domingo were
a mixture of nurture and confidence-building. They prepared her
for the service time. She was not fully prepared for the severe
poverty she experienced in the Haitian Batey (ghetto) and found
she had to make big cultural adjustments. She found out what it
was like to be marginalized in society as Haitians in the Dominican
Republic can be - a difficult but eye opening experience. As a
parent I am grateful that she could have that experience. The
Caskeys were a phone call away, they stayed on top of how Addie
was tolerating the experience, and they encouraged her while acknowledging
her frustrations. By working through the more difficult issues,
Addie would have the opportunity to understand herself better.
She would also develop a sensitivity to those who feel they are
outside mainstream society.
Did she accomplish MY goals? I think so, but she will need more
time to know exactly what she learned about herself and about
Dominican culture. The important thing is whether or not she accomplished
HER goals. Did growth occur? Without a doubt, it did. She will
view the world differently from here on out. Although she has
always been aware of a broader world, she now knows from experience
that she is a part of a larger world community. She acknowledges
new revelations in her faith (she jokes that when one has no electrical
power one may as well pray); a better understanding of poverty;
and a clearer sense of what happens to people when they feel powerless
in their society. The difficult service assignment time she views
as "amazing." It wasn't enjoyable, but it was amazing. That in
itself sums up for me the impact it had for her. She offers no
complaints, but rather an acknowledgement that life isn't always
easy and a sense of strength in what one can still accomplish
within that framework.
We have much to learn from our children when they return from
their SST experiences. I vow to listen.
Mary and her husband Ed are spending this year in Eldoret,
Kenya, managing the IU/Kenya Collaboration, which is in its 14th
year. Addie joined them at the end of April for a visit.
