Transitioning to College Life

By Kelli Burkholder King

On Sunday, August 30, during the New Student Chapel for incoming students and their parents, President Brenneman welcomed new students to campus. He talked about leaving home, parents leaving their students behind and the "homesick" feelings many can identify with when longing for family, friends or places you love. Many hugs were exchanged and some tears were shed as parents left and students stayed to begin this new stage of life at college.

Big life transitions can be difficult. For both parents and children, the first time students go off to college is one of the most significant transitions. Though difficult, this new stage can be good for both parents and their son or daughter. As parents it can provide an opportunity to:

• Get to know your son or daughter in a different setting
• Appreciate them in new ways since you will miss many things about them
• Relate to your student more as an adult than as a child
• Try new ways of communicating with them

What can parents do to ease the transition? 

Being interested in your student's life is critical, but being intrusive can be damaging. What does it mean to be interested but not obtrusive? Here are some examples:

• Acknowledge that change is exciting and challenging for them and for you.
• Communicate with them but don't over communicate. Thirty years ago students communicated with their parents as little as once a week, or even less. Things have changed significantly and that may seem like a long time now, but you don't need to know everything they are doing or where they are at all times of day and night.
• Converse about what they are doing and what's happening at home, but don't make them feel they can't let go of their old life.
• Support them but don't do everything for them. They need to figure some things out for themselves. You shouldn't have to call them every morning to get them out of bed.
• Let them know you support and believe in them even when they make mistakes; that is part of growing into an adult.
• Let students know you expect them to follow the rules, even if they don't agree with all of the rules.

At GC, our Student Life team is not here to take over your parenting role. They are here to help your student develop into an independent, responsible and healthy adult. An array of resources is available on campus to provide support for students. We encourage students to use these services:

• Academic Resource & Writing Center 
• Counseling Services
• Campus Ministries
• Residence Life Staff
• Faculty Advisors
• Wellness & Health Services
• Career Services

Contact information is available at the Student Life home page.

 

Underlying all of these services are GC's core values which we believe are reflected in what and how services are provided. Just like you, we want your son or daughter to become Christ centered, passionate learners, global citizens, compassionate peacemakers and servant leaders as they develop and grow at Goshen. As President Brenneman said in the New Student Chapel to all students, "Welcome home to God's loving care, everyone. Welcome home to Goshen College."

 

Browse past issues of Parent Connections .

Subscribe: Parents of Goshen College students are automatically subscribed to Parent Connections. If you have not received the newsletter, but would like to get on the list, you may subscribe yourself to Parent Connections .

Unsubscribe: Visit the Parent Connections page to unsubscribe from the newsletter if you wish.